We actually managed out last night for Hogmanay. Only along to the community hall until the girls were becoming teary with tiredness at 9 o'clock, but it was lovely to see people and have some really nice chats. Then of course home for records, biscuits and cheese with only a little bit of reflection this year, I let Will off easily as I was so tired, and no we didn't make it til midnight. One year perhaps.
This morning I went for it, Christmas decorations came down and some good cleaning of under the couch and all. Oh it felt so good, it felt like making a fresh start. I don't believe in New Year resolutions I more so like this time of year as a marker to take the time in pausing and reflecting on, well, life. This past year has had so many ups and downs but when I look back the thing that gets me the most is how ungrounded I feel coming out of the year. I am not making grand plans for this year, right now I am looking at January. What my body and mind are screaming out for me to do is rest, like really rest. Last week I stopped drinking coffee, much to the horror of Will, because I know I am addicted to the stuff and I know I can't really rest if I keep drinking it. Four days on and my head still hurts, I have drunk copious amounts of green tea and I feel tired, but it feels a good tired, a natural tired like I am no longer over riding what my body is telling me and now I can just listen. So yes as others enter the dry month of January, mine is a dry month of no coffee, it sucks really, but annoyingly I feel so good for it.
I have also eased back on the running after struggling with a knee injury for half of last year and knowing it stems from my hip which I am still trying to fix, but I am trying to fix it while still running. Something has to give. Exercise is my form of relaxation but it can also be a crutch because if I don't run those 3 runs a week or manage that daily yoga practice I suffer and I need to break these routines before they become too intrenched. Over the past couple of weeks I have found my yoga practice has softened and I am drawn towards gentler practices with more pranayama and meditations.
So January is the month of rest because I want my energy back that after having kids for 7 years has somehow disappeared, funny that huh. Today was good; no coffee, like I said sorting the house in the morning and then dragging the girls out for a walk after lunch to come home for some film watching. Now when I say drag the girls, I really do mean drag. First we were going to go round the back of the island, which Amelia howled at, but luckily there was an escaped cow in the way. So we went to tell Uncle Terry. Then down to see daddy at work, who wasn't quite finished so I suggested a walk along the beach. I think Jessica enjoyed the beach, Amelia's whinges seems to suggest she didn't, however Amelia did enjoy the coastal path by which point Jessica had become overwhelmed with tiredness and told me this walk was boring. We did find a new field to explore; Amelia skipped around it joyfully, Jessica told me it was just some stupid empty field. I seem to vaguely recall there was some laughter in there from both parties at about the same time but that took me so much effort I was drained for the rest of the walk! A walk is a walk though, and we had a beach to ourselves, we got to explore a little bit of the island I had never been on and the wind blew so hard it was fantastic!!
Nothing really important happened today, and it was a day of many ups and downs, but do you know if the rest of the year is just like today I would be happy with that. I am of course going off to do some yoga now, because why wouldn't I.
Happy 2018! x